On Olympic Ice: Commentary from Hell and Mediocre Judging --- Their Scores Against My Notes and Dick Button's tweets

 Yuzuru Hanya

When I learned of NBC ice commentators — Tara Lipinski and  Johnny Weir — being stunned over the failure of the apparently pre-ordained Russian Evgenia Medvedeva to win the gold medal, I grinned with glee.  In fact, had I decided the event, Ms. Medvedeva would not have earned the Silver Medal she was handed, not even a bronze.  At best from me?  Perhaps a tin foil medallion.  In my notes scribbled out in haste while taking in the women's long program, there is only one word:

“Labored”

In Dick Buttons tweets about her, which I discovered to my great pleasure after these events were over, there is this: “Not elegant, technically strong, little performance ... less satisfying to watch than some others”

Kaetlyn Osmond 

And there are others.  So let’s have some fun with this.  Okay, Button is a legend.  Who am I?  In fact, I knew nothing of any of these skaters at the outset, nor, your could argue, am I anywhere qualified to know the difference between a triple this  or an upside down that.*

How the judges ranked them

(based on a total of the scores for both their short and long programs)

1. Alina Zagitov, Russia

2 Evgenia Medvedeva, Russia

3 Kaetlyn Osmond, Canada

4 Sakota Miyuahara, Japan

5 Carolina Kostner, Italy

Satoko Miyahara

How I ranked them, based on only the long program

 

My notes follow the skater's name, and on the next line, Dick Button's tweets.  To be clear, he did not rank the skaters in any order.

1. Satoko Miyahara   choreography great all way through.  ... creamily expressive,  her hand movements always integral
    Button: steady jumping ... doesn’t’ have worthless arm movements.

2 Kaetlyn Osmond   dashing .. flawed landing ... jumping a delight
    Button: Beautiful skating ... elegant jumps ... marvelous.

3 Alina Zagitova  mostly ballet ... heavy
    Button:  beautiful jumps, little height ... wildly secure  .. a lot of arm flailing.

4 Evgenia Medvedeva   labored
    Button:  not elegant, technically strong, little performance ... less satisfying to watch than some others

5 Kaori Sakamoto   flubs
    Button:  charming. just not perfect

6 Carolina Kostner   mechanical ... klutzy
    Button:  Elegant, old fashioned, enjoyable and where mistakes don’t matter

How the judges ranked the men

Yuzuru Hanya, Japan

Shoma Uno, Japan

Javier Fernandez, Spain

Jim Boyang,China

Nathen Chen, U.S

Javier Fernandez 

How I ranked them, based on only the long program

1  Yuzuru Hanya   gripping bravado ... ballet on fire ... one of the greatest  I’ve ever seen.
    Button:  Gorgeous. ... beautifully choreographed with the music.  Terrific theatre!

2  Nathan Chen  (a tie with Fernandez)   great choreography
    Button: Complete package. Good for you ... you’re back on the stage.

2 Javier Fernandez  Strong, commanding.
    Button: Prime example that you cannot have Artistry without Technique, and you cannot have       Technique without Artistry.  He along with Hanyu have it both.  With Fernandez having the edge of a terrific performer

4  Patrick Chan**   masterful fullness of body expressions
    Button   Quad security is not one of his elements

5  Shoma Uno (a tie with Rippon)   Heavy ... strained theatrics ... a big fall
   Button: Doesn't have the elegance of Hanyu , but a very strong secure program.  

5  Adam Rippon   solid perfection
   Button:  Rippon you had a beautiful skate.

 Nathan Chen

Commentators from the Twilight Zone

Adam Rippon was invited by NBC to be a  commentator. He declined, wishing to support his team. Which brings us to the obnoxious experts in residence: Tara Lipinski who jabbers on as if this were a bob sled contest (“another quad! ... another quad!...”)  on over the music I would like to hear — or is music now secondary to Ms. Lip?  I muted her out, and watched in silence.   About her bizarre partner, gender-bending fashion freak show provocateur, Johnny Weir.   I’ll give him this: His voice is softer, although I don’t think I trust his opinions much, especially after hearing him purr over Carolina Kostner, “Her artistry is captivating.”  Who were the clowns at NBC who hired these two  self-adoring irritants?

All of which gives me scant desire to await the next Olympics,  and to hope another network gets the rights. NBC programming was wretchedly frustrating – It took me a five hour sit to see the last half of the  men's long program.  With the women, I think I came in near the last group.   I would loved to  have taken in dance and pairs, but not under such imprisoning conditions. 

As for the skating in general, have I grown jaded, or is there a certain predictable air about too many of the programs seeming to conform to a narrowly defined template?  Too little variety between them?  On his twitter, Dick Button raised this issue, so I don't think it is just me thinking that.

Scroll down for my take on judging at U.S. Nationals

***********************************************************************

* Having grown up on wheels, and favoring dance and school figures, I wrote the book Roller Skating for Gold, the research for which took me to ice meets, and to skating lessons at Berkeley Iceland.  I do believe I can spot a clean execution  over a messy one, and the overall variety and complexity of a program, thank you.

** I had to wonder, was I that wrong with this guy?   No, I'm sticking with my initial gut reaction, no matter how foolish I may appear.  Then, I looked up Patrick Chan (did I not tell you
that I knew nothing about these skaters at the outset)  He has quite some record, I discovered --- three times world champion!

If I'm in the mood and NBC is not broadcasting it, meet me here  at the next U.S. Nationals.

ALL SKATE!

Euro Ice Nationals Transcend Quad Mania ... Young Russian's Brilliant Blades Make the Big Trick Secondary ... Tara Lipinski Commentary Merits the Mute Button

Dimitri Aliev is the name.  And how many quads did he execute?  Funny, I have no idea, if any.  I know I was mesmerized by the totality of his generous program.

And how refreshing a break from last week, when over here we were driven to count count count quads. All the talk dominated by quad obsession.  He may do five!   Oh, well, he did get in two!
That was a surprise, we had not seen that quad coming!

And how narrow a focus, reducing the event to a one-theme contest.  Great figure skaters should sweep us up into a journey of flight. I caught the top rated  men in finals and posted my own grades.   I gave Dimitri my highest score -- 94, my second highest, 92, to the commanding Spaniard, Javier Lopez Fernandez, a little more athletic, if only he had not missed or smeared several ill-fated landings.  He seems to hold the "reputation" factor.  Between the two men, the competition in Korea next month should be fierce.

This event was never intended to be a showdown over just one item.  The ridiculous focus on quads --- seems more prevalent over here --- shoves us into a fixation on just that one component, rendering all the other jumps and the spins less important,  the routines less wholly satisfying. 

Leave it to Russia to show us the way.  And the way is only 18-years-old.  Dimitri is a compelling artist on blades, from his mastery of big tricks to an interlocking choreography that does not seem secondary at all.  A sublime pleasure to watch, his body movements forming fluid sculptures in motion.  Rare to have artistry and athleticism so evenly matched.

And what a surprise, his routine was over, already?  I  couldn't believe how fast it went - the mark of a skater's avoiding middle-of-the-program slumping and slippage. Other than one failed landing, Aliev was near perfection.

Commentary from hell

About the side line critics:  I rather enjoyed, actually could appreciate the brevity of Johnny Weir's  remarks, certainly compared to the annoying jack hammer banter of  Tara Lipinski, who sounds like a stock market analyst rattling off facts and figures.    Seems to me that a skater's performance, like that of any talent show competitor, should be, for the most part,  critiqued after the event, not during it.  I don't need the condescending  Ms. Lipinski to tell me what I can actually see for myself.  She is such an in-our-face annoyance, that I may turn down the sound while trying to watch the Olympics, or I may skip the whole damn thing altogether.

Ice Dancing at Figure Skating Nationals - a Refreshing Break from Quad Mania ... What Grant Hotchstein Shows Us ...

Sanity amidst the madding crowd: Grant Hotchstein

Watching men's singles at the Nationals, it felt as if I had been away for ages. I recall when a few of the best men were turning a quad.  I said, a quad. I returned to witness an insane obsession with but one goal: FIVE QUADS.
 
Where have I been?   He did five!    Oh, how brilliant, that's four quads  ... only one to go to hold his place! ...  He is absolutely on fire with the quad. This sport is rocking!  Look, another!  Are you kidding? No, no, who knows, he may try for a sixth!

Pardon me, you raving Hamilton cheerleaders, but am I watching an ice skating competition --- or a reality TV stunt skating contest?  This giddy preoccupation with quantity effectively renders second or third rate all of the other items.  The fourth quad down, and, and, and ....  FIVE!  Nailed!  ...  In the bag! ....

I am bored already.  How about half a dozen?  Or better yet, a mandatory cap on the maximum number allowed.  Oh, say ... a thousand?

There was one lone skater in men's finals who did not produce a winning routine, with too many passive sections, but gradually he earned my respect with his artfully expressive moves, some of them thrilling. He looked lost in the pack, a stranger from another time and place, and  I was reminded of saner days that delivered more fully satisfying free style routines.   I think his name is Grant Hochstein.  He missed his true calling. He should have been a dance skater.  Let the vulgarians chase the quinny.

The hucksters who run this so-called sport should cut the pretensions and  carve out a new, more honest and potentially more gripping event, guaranteed to inflate crowd size.

AMERICAN NINJA ICE WARRIOR

.

In this more athletically pure event, no music allowed, each skater will have to execute a set list of items in fixed order -- such as axle, salchow, camel, chop suey, loop-the-lutz, traveling camel, upside down camel, and then onto mandatory jumps -- single, double, triple, quad.  And by God, as many of those as he/she can bring off, the first one missed spelling sudden death.  Option:  After completing a quad and then, and then, landing a QUINNY (quintuple), INSTANT victory.

For this mathematically scored challenge, a file clerk from the outside will check off each item completed.  Only one fall allowed.  As for sloppy landings, a panel of judges will deduct points from the score based on three degrees of slop:  Barely missed.  Heroically clinging.  Creatively executed.  This will keep the door to trickery slightly ajar, where judges can still make their under-the-table deals with each other for mutual score fixing.

ONTO DANCE, and please,no quads!

.

Hubbell and Donahue

I was appalled at how the pairs team of Kayne and O'Shea, were robbed of first place, and then outraged when I learned that only the first place team, Sciemeca and Knerium, won a spot on the Olympic team. So, once again skeptical of the judging, I took out pencil and paper during the last five free dance teams, to seriously look at each and commit a sore of my own prior to the judging marks being made known.  You may have done this on occasion, too.  It''s fun.  Here are my scores (1-100), in order of ranking, with a few words describing my overall reaction, and then, on the next line, how the judges graded each:


Hubbell and Donahue  Compelling creativity   93
               judges: 197.2

Shibutani and Shibutani  Accomplished  91
              judges   196,93

Hawyayek and  Bake  Dancing on waves:  90
                 Judges  187.61

Chock and Bates:  Hard working  75
                 Judges:  196.60

Parsons and Parsons    Humdrum:  72
                 Judges:  176.01 

For my eyes, the marvel of Hubbell and Donahue's skating is how they use acrobatic movements to serve dance itself, rather than treating dance as an excuse for a veiled, pandering pairs program. We too often see dance teams defaulting to light pairs gymnastics for easy showmanship.  To sustain dance is the great challenge.  Hubbell and Donahue were dancing, and that's what I loved the most about them.

Okay, now I'm psyched up.  Now, I'm waiting for the Winter Olympics!

A little ways down, soon, I will be re-posting something I did on the judging in 2014. 

Highway Robbery at Figure Skating Nationals ... Ice Those Judges! ... I'm Watching Now ...

 Magnificent unity through and through:Tarah Kayne and Danny O'Shea

 
Okay, let's give all things Ringling a rest. Make this a segue from Out of This World to In This world.  (Ringling, if you bladsters are wondering, was a circus)

I've been out of touch over ice for a while.  Yesterday, I nearly bumped into U.S. Figure Skating Nationals by channel surfing, sat down and watched a few of the pairs teams.  Some pretty nice.
Then came a couple, Kayne and O'Shea, who totally grabbed me.  They struck me as a little heavier than some others, but oh, how their bodies in motion matched, spatial relationships being symmetrically near-perfect, the fluid program a seamless work of art.

Great content, as well.  One or two minor flubs,  but nothing to doom their supremacy over a field I had so far seen,.

I had them easily in first place.

And then came a human interest story, a married pair returning after hardship.  They were Alexa and Chris Knieirim, an obvious crowd favorite:  Full disclosure: I knew nothing about any of these teams. I'm watching the whole thing COLD.

Alexa and Chris produced, I'll give them this, a spectacular fireworks lift off, the woman soaring high in the air.  But this is not supposed to be -- or is it? -- a stunt skating contest.  Reason I say that is because the rest of their routine was a rather messy affair, more like failed sparklers in fizzling disarray. Nothing to compare to Kayne and O'Shea.  In my mind, I gave Knierim and Knierim a second or third place.

Okay, are you ready?  Knierim and Knierim swept the field, easily outscoring Kayne and O'Shea.

ARE YOU KIDDING?  Talk about highway robbery in plain sight.  I can't recall witnessing such flagrantly biased (or fixed) judging at an ice meet, though I'm sure it has happened.  We all know about a fix between judges two judges a few years ago.  Big scandal.  

Not sure about the commentary voices. Seems one of them, once he would hear the scores given, would them come clean on what he really thought of a routine. Finger- in-the-wind scoring?

I am not going to knee-jerk a wish that Dick Button had been there instead.  But I just did.  Or anybody else with a sharper tongue.  How about, say, they get Tanya Harding or her mother to mouth off on the sidelines.

I watched casually then.  This afternoon, I'm going more serious.  The free dance will be on, and that's perhaps the most challenging event to score.  Much of it is, or once was, about subtleties.  I wonder how acrobatic it has become.

See me back later, for more icy impressions ...

Scoring Whoring Over Ice? Two Million Irate Ice Fans Demand Investigaion of the Judging of Women's Figures

 Robbery on ice:  Did Russia Steal Gold from South Korea?

 Russia's Adelina Sotnikova beats out South Korea's Yuna Kim

Skategate  in Sochi?

Were the judges pimping for Russia?  On the take?   Swapping scores in a fix?

I did not watch the event. Seems an avalanche of angry fans believe the South Korean was robbed of the Gold, which went to the Russian.

First of all, artistic skating is NOT a sport.  Never was.  Never will be. If ice skating was ONLY about athleticism, the skaters would be rigorously confined to demonstrating a series of jumps and spins, etc.  There would be no music.  No creative expression.  Then, the judging too would be easier to judge by spectators at large.  For this to be, turn off the music.  Fire the choreographers, the managers, the creative consultants, et all.  Never will happen.  The crowd would turn its fickle attentions elsewhere, just as it did to the old school figures and, more lately -- I assume -- to the set compulsory dances.

Ice skating is a virtual  entertainment industry, elevated, funded, glorified by Big Money.  Careers, sponsorships, ego, and national pride ride the results. 

Secondly, two people can view the same program very differently.  All judging of any artistic event  involves a degree of subjectivity.  So it would be near impossible to prove a judging error, short of documented evidence of collusion.  It's happened before and it could happen again.

Nonetheless, here looms a potential Olympic-sized whopper, a public relations disaster in the making.

No, no! will cry the insiders -- just more publicity for our darling sport, so cunning in its shrewd capacity to reap yet more scandal and lure in more fans. 

Watching all of this fake gold unfold from the sidelines is quite fascinating.  And considering possible corruption behind the scenes, driven by insatiable greed, the surly image of Tanya Harding comes to mind.  Sorry, but I think a reality check is in order.

You of the ice crowd:   Please tell us how you saw the event.  Do you believe it was a reasonable call, or possible fixed?

Ice Dance Rigged and Thrown by "Judging Johns," Sceams Toronto Journalist... Controversy Rages Over Final Scores Putting America's New Darlings on Top

 "A tawdry whore of a sport where the judges are the Johns."-- Rosie MiManno, the Toronto Star

Silver medalists: Were Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir robbed?

I'm not surprised, even though I did not stay up all night to watch the final program skated.  (I might have missed out on my quality time with Dracula).

The Russian pro who teaches both of the two top teams told CBS, on the subject of the judges, "I don't understand what they're looking for. It's a mystery."

Here's a sample of what might be going on

You have my take below on three teams which I watched in the short program. I remain appalled and astonished at how high a score the sloppy thrown-together flash team of Chuck and Bates received; and how stunningly under rated were the obviously superior due of Lanotte and Cappelini.

We all know that the so-called "judges" are not above taking bribes or "fixing" an event. Happened in Salt Lake City, and was there not the incident of a French judge in collusion with another judge ---you favor my skater, and I’ll favor yours. .

A report in the French sports publication L'Equipe said to be "circling that the Russian and American judges were in cahoots against Canada to help each other win gold medals -- Russia in the team competition, the United States in ice dancing."

Troubling sampler grabs my skeptical attention:

Tonight on CBS, film clips of  the victorious White and Davis, and then, more briefly, of  their Canadian rivals showed the latter to be a much more solid and polished unit.

When I can watch the entire final Ice Dance event in replay, I'm going to study it with laser eyes and report my findings..

At the Olympics: Terrific Little Dance Team Slighted by Judges: NBC Hacks Short Dance Coverage into Pieces; Has the Ice World No Shame in Allowing Such Treatment?

Okay, here is my first take on ice dance.

Last night, I watched three teams -- and then, NBC (Nothing But Commercials) switched to the ski slopes.  With this network's insultingly manipulative coverage, obviously designed to keep suckers watching, I gave up in disgust and went to bed.

Using my own scoring system, 1-100, here were my scores for those teams:

Mia and Alex:  92  (Judges: 64.47)  Some lovely and lively team work. 

Chuck & Bates: 64  (Judges: 65.46)  Sloppy flash hacks - they looked like they had teamed up a week ago.  I could not believe the score.  What galled me the most: No way could they compare to the superior Mia and Alex.

Lanotte and Cappelini:  94  (Judges:  67.58)  Wonderfully engaging. Sprightly carriage.  The commentator, Tracy, though a little too gabby -- how stupid do these commentators believe viewers to be? -- did give this team the credit it was due.

I might see if I can watch favorites on-line, and report back

POSTMORTEM: 6:47 AM PST

I have reached the land of NBC on my PC; maybe there I will find Davis ans White, and maybere there I can watch them in their short program, but I am drowning in a sea of ads and commercials, pop ups and blow outs, detours to anywhere where but I want to go.  I am lost in an inhuman intersection of American greed flashing at me like a thousand laser pitches from every possible direction on auto pilot.

I have one question for the world of figure skating: Why do you allow a network to present your short dance exhibitions in sections, spread out between other events?  Have you no shame?

At the Olympics, Sochi Coverage SUCKS; NBC Commercials, Fallon & Meyer Plugs Consume More Time than the Games

UPDATE, 2/17/14: Last night, I tried watching the short dance.  After three couples skated, NBC shoved a ski event in my face, in effect, thinking they could string me along for another hour or so through their commercials, waiting to see another few dance teams skate.   No, I tuned out in disgust.  This is the same network run by morons that removed Jay Leno when the guy was still king of late night.

The thing I hate most about NBC's coverage is how little action they show compared to the endless parade of commercials.  On a few trying occasions this week when I tried to endure Slime Time coverage on NBC,  I could have sworn (let me do it here and now, belatedly) having seen far more ads than action.

Well, I was dead bored-out-of-my-mind right.  I read this morning in the Wall Street Journal that, indeed, Olympic action comprises only 24% of the telecasts, Commercials, a whopping 33%

No wonder I am part-part-time viewer.  I hate the whole marketing-saturated mess.

And, oh yes, let's see, I failed to mention, along with the nauseating ads, Lester Holtz dancing with some young girls.  Was that supposed to be Dicso Eliminations?  I switched channels to Pot Farming in Afghanistan.

And how late should I have stayed up to see the men's figure skating short program? Three AM in the morning? 

Tonight, I am going to try to watch what is now termed "short dance."

Remember the compulsories?  Evidently, they went the way of school figures. Both, not entertaining enough to keep draw the crowds

So I am ELATED to read that viewership is down by about 8%.  In some periods, much more than that.

If they want to get me back, they'll have to feature only my favorite Best of Commercials.  You probably know the ones, starting with attack food, etc.

P.S.: Jimmy Fallon looks like a loser already.  Jay, keep NBC on your speed dial.

Figure Skating Sans Commentary: The "Not Scott" Mute Button ...

Why do I resent having to listen to Scott Hamilton's excessive know-it-all chatter while skaters compete? Here's why:

1. He conveys the narcissistic attitude that not until HE tells us what a skater has just done, can we validly enjoy it. Not until HE comments, has anything in fact of any import taken place. We are treated by this "commentator" like helplessly clueless spectators who lack the intelligence to enjoy a skater's performance without an expert giving us official permission. He actually may believe that we tune in more to hear him than to watch them. Not I, Mr. Hamilton.

2. In the earlier years when I first tried tolerating Hamilton, he came off as a squeaky voiced insider flaking for his friends, particularly for American skaters. He sounded so provincial. Up in Victoria during the women's short program, his irritating commentary was nearly non-stop at times.

3. Maybe he, or let's say NBC directing him, decided that it was important for him to verbally exploit every jump and spin of a skater's routine in order to foster an athletic image of figure skating. If that is so, then why not axe the music and have each skater demonstrate the required items, each item numbered and announced and scored, no footwork in between, no theatrics. As clinically executed and judged as indoor gymnastics?

The world of ice, I must inform you at this point, is a billion dollar industry, forever in fear of any of its competitive events being sidelined or eliminated, or treated like curling. In fact, I've heard they may have to 86 their humdrum compulsory dances, because those redundant set patterns bear too little visible difference from the original set patterns. You may recall that the school figures were thrown out some years back.

The world of ice has a great stake in the Olympics. Coaches make big bucks. Ice champions earn millions from endorsements. Producers tour the champs in special shows. Compared to this cunningly self-perpetrating industry (a veritable As The World Turns on blades), competitive roller skating (what's left of it) is but a puppet show on wheels.

You have, up there, my three rational reasons for avoiding commentator Hamilton. Which is why I have skipped many Olympics in recent years. Actually, Hamilton has given me a good reason to put off being dragged through three hours of commercials in order to watch 12 or 13 minutes of variable "championship" skating.

The Hamilton victory laps have also heightened my appreciation for Dick Button. Here is why: Seems, as I fondly recall before the Scot onslaught, classy Dick staying mostly silent during a skater's program. Once it was completed, and I waited for this, Dick would then offer a little summation. Some people have claimed he could be nasty. I don't much recall nasty; to overly sensitive ears, however, any non-affirmative, non gushing "YOU are the greatest!" testimonial is tantamount to heresy.

Peggy Flemming was a pleasant presence, although I don't remember her uttering many insightful things. I found Sandra Bezic, new to my ears, a pastel pleasure compared to hack Hamilton, who might, by the way, make a lively radio announcer for football or cock fighting. But others posting their rants on my blog detest Betiz. Makes me wonder if they are Fleming fans.

How to survive ice skating without Scott Hamilton? In fact, I may have already tried this before. From now on, I will simply mute my TV and play favorite CDs or tapes. Even old phonograph records. Heck, they should come out with a new television set containing a built in "NOT SCOT" mute button. The thing would somehow play the music but delete the voice.

And if Mr. Hamilton is ever muted by NBC, or should another network land future Olympics and decide not to use his services, he might find viable employment in a new mice on ice show as its star Mouseketeer.

Figure Skating at the Olympics: When the Skater Transcends the Skate

Why does Michelle Kwan come to mind? I recall a few years ago, 99% sure, watching her at a U.S. or Worlds, and marveling at how her skating seemed willed by her spirit alone, rather than by physical technique. As if she had in the moment dreamed her body into exactly what she wanted it to do and where she wanted it to go. I detected not one trace of compartmentalized effort. I saw triumphant poetry over the ice.

This is what we look for -- the journey away from physicality into spiritual transcendence. I think competitively unlucky Paul Wylie also had it.

Watching the electrifying Evgeni Plushenko through his short program (I missed the long, nor did I see his rival skate at all), yet in honest recall, compared to Michelle, Evgeni is more passionately ice-bound, his repertoire loaded with dazzling tricks and torrid choreography.

These mortals who seem to reach a supernatural realm are far and few between. They begin, or did begin once, on the school circles mastering edges, learn to spin and jump, advance to complex interlocking maneuvers and, finally, to the crafting of a program. Just as, with the actor, we wish to see not the actor at all but the character, so with the figure skater, we wish to witness not the technical effort at all but the exhilarating imagery of a dancer perfectly and freely in flight.

Which is a principal reason why the "quad" must never be exalted at the expense of the "routine." If jumps and spins alone were the only imperative components, then why music? Then why the intricate footwork linking them into a whole?

Michelle Kwan, that magical time I saw her, skated her way into the purity of a powerfully controlled dream.

[photo by Jonathan Ferry/Getty Images]
2/13/10

At the Olympics: Dancing on Thin Ice

Inconceivable that NBC should hold back the men's figure finals until around 10 PM or after out here on the coast, and yet give prime time coverage to compulsory dance. I am now convinced beyond a shadow of Jay Leno that NBC is run by idiots.

Because of this inane scheduling, I missed watching Evgeni Plushenko and Evan Lysacek battle it out.

The old compulsory dance event is simply too redundant and too similar to the original set patterns, either of which would be a sufficient lead in to free dance finals.

Athletically speaking, dance has little credibility at the Olympics. And it's easy to see why the ballroom crowd has been clamoring for years for a place at the summer games, just as have roller dancers, who -- in the compulsory division, bring far great technique and team unity to the compulsory set-pattern dances than do their famously-established counterparts on ice.

I'll let this issue alone, other than to note that Sonja Heine helped turn ice skating into an Olympic staple and entertainment industry. The rest is a colorful and skillfully exploited history that keeps on giving..

For the schooled skater on any surface who values baselines and lobes, three turns and partner alignment, there is -- or was -- nothing so technically satisfying to watch as a crack American roller dance team, before American rollers began mimicking the comparatively wild and free ice "dancing" style. For those of you in the dark, imagine the more conservative champion ballrooms dancers you see today on PBS, only performing with the same flawless execution on roller skates.

Of course, the public would likely find them boring, as they tend to the ice teams in compulsories. In the beginning, the icers in tandem placed rigorous if clumsy emphasis on edges, edges, edges, at the expense of partner unity and flow. Remember the school figures? From those, emerged teams "dancing." At their worst (even in the Ice Follies), partners cut deep edges while holding onto each other as music played.

The American roller dancers during the forties and fifties broke free of edge-centric styles and achieved matchless levels of breathless perfection in symmetry, upright posture, partner unison, smooth creamy movement of skates. Roller dance champion Bob Labriola and his partners, then those teams he taught, epitomized an idyllic form of roller dance that has virtually vanished as the roller crowd, pathetically bent on doing it the ice way, believing that is the only road to Olympic glory, laboriously and slavishly imitates ice dance styles -- to a point of grotesque exaggeration and overkill.

I'm waiting for the free dance, in which icers excel, for here the partners can widen and liberate the space between themselves that, on blades, never came natural but always looked forced. At this break-away point, dancing on ice comes very close to pairs skating, minus the lifts. The French team years ago were a revelation in creative artistry.

A sheet of ice invites the body to soar.

Out of the Past: Figure Skating Commentators At the Olympics: Sandra Bezic Shines Near the Ice, Dick Button Above It ...

UPDATE: 1.17.18: More comments coming in.  Let the debate resume!

First posted February 17, 2010

Update February 12, 2014: There are so many of you drawn to this post, I am inspired to try taking in some of the ice competitions in Russia, and turn out another rant or rave. So I might be back here on Sunday morning if not sooner.

What a tony pleasure to have Dick Button back at the games, sharing his feelings about figure skaters. He covered many Olympics for ABC, an arrangement I think that kept him from other networks. Button actually returned to the games for NBC four years ago. This man is so much fun listening to and believing in; he brings to mind late San Francisco evenings, years ago, sitting across a cafe table with friends following a night out at Skateland-at-the-Beach (a roller rink), just cutting up jokes and talking about a shared passion. Button has class. He has tact. He is not always right, and he will show his surprise when the scores surprise him.

In Dick Button's absence, I've had to stomach Scott Hamilton, whose excessive cheer leading and dubious critical faculties have driven me more than once to shout at my TV set, "Shut     up!" The best thing I can say for Hamilton this year, at least during the pairs finals on Monday, was that he has kept his comments to an admirable minimum. Maybe he was working under a gag order by NBC so that they could squeeze in more commercials; Not another night will I sit up until midnight, no matter who is skating. That's it.

Hamilton's rink-side partner for pairs was Canadian Sandra Bezic, and what a welcome voice and intelligence she possesses. I hope she covers more ice events in the days ahead. She has a gift for honest feedback in a velvet smooth manner. And she never dominates the action. She, in fact, proves herself a much more engaging commentator than did the super-nice Peggy Fleming, who always struck me as afraid as a mouse to offend a single skater -- or the sport she represented.

But up there in the NBC "fireside" room talking to Bob Costa, Dick Button is the real article. Character. Class. Age. Best of all, a natural undying enthusiasm for the sport that he has given his whole life to, from champion Olympic competitor to class act commentator.

There is something else, if you will allow me: Such sweet music to my ears on Monday night: "She is a former champion roller skater." Yes, yes! Thank you, somebody, up there, for the nod. Is that the closet my sport (laugh if you must) will ever get to the Olympics?

By the way, I thought that the young roller- turned ice-skater, Katie somebody, and her partner surely deserved higher marks; same for a Canadian team. In fact, I found the judging overall for this event rather atrocious. A couple of sacred cow Russian teams, ragged and inept, hardly deserved such a pass from the judges.

As for the pairs medalists, I was in perfect agreement on the Chinese teams, although I could have seen it going the other way.

The Middle Kingdom is catching up. The balance of power, as in politics and elsewhere, is changing on the ice too. Roller skating in China, anybody?

2/17/10

May I Say this About Roller Skating and the Olympics...

As I behold the tremendously exciting bike races (over the finish line like Derby thoroughbreds), as was just evidenced with a Brit woman speeding victoriously into Gold, and when I think of what authentic athletic excitement a group of roller skaters could supply traversing the same breathtaking course across this most beautiful country (China), I think of how the IOC has relentlessly (likely bowing to payoffs from the ice lobby) kept the sport of my boyhood out of the games year after year, century after century. Most of all, I think of the Judas Iscariot of the IOC, former president Juan Antonio Samaranch, himself an avid roller hockey competitor in his youth who could have easily moved speed skating on roller skates into the games, but in the end turned on his own sport.

To all the roller skaters out there who have for years deserved better, I share your outrage. The Olympics to which you aspire? As political and phony as the entertainment world it so shamelessly serves and is driven by. Which is why I rarely watch these slick spectacles of sponsorship mania, rhetorical allusions to "international good will," drug-enhanced cheats and naked patriotic narcissism.

Am I, by chance, bitter? Yes -- and proud of it.