Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Big Top Battered by Bullets for Elephants ... Shriners Ban Peanuts for a Night ...

Come on in, shovel up a little sawdust and have yourself a half laugh or 2, on me.

Some recent giggles from the PC front: Out, damn nuts!  You’re allergic to them, too, you say?  You should a gone to the opening performance last March 28 of the Yelduz Shrine Circus, where peanut peddling took a hit — banned for the night.  Popcorn and candy bars, peanut free too. 

Not so funny:  This is strange.   “Bullets by the big top” announced a local NBC TV reporter.  Target practice from a freeway aimed at a Ringling elephant in Tupelo, Miss. Motive not known. What next at the front door, TSA agents patting down kids in clown face?  “Crazy” said the reporter, reporting an award of $21,000 for anybody who can identify the gunman.  And this, in a raging  red state?  Animal expected to make a full recovery.  And for that, I'd say, give the mammoth a bucket of old fashioned you-know-what. Peterson Peanuts, here's your big PR moment. Get cracking!

Staying nutty, here are some things I’d like to see banned, if only for one-performance per date, to be vividly pitched in advance.  I'd buy front row seats, I would.       

1.  Hula hoops
2.  Motor bikes up inclined wires
3.  Solo confusion on the fabrics
4.  hula hoops bearing international awards
5.  Peanut pitches
6.  clown participation acts
7.  A “live band” consisting of an organist and records.
8.  hula hoop participation acts

1 comment:

M.A.D. said...

And how about banning Hula Hoops too..LOL..And what has happened to aerial acts? You never see anyone doing a trapeze act, they all do lira or silks, which to me is just a glorified version of web or ladder, which is not an act.. Hope you had a wonderful visit with your family David..