Saturday, June 23, 2012

Saturday Slide Bys: Sex in the Seats? ... Kinky Big Top Over Times Square... Circus from Hell Tours Banned TB Elephant

First Draft Feckless ...

Have a little frivol on me:
Frivol, a word that caught the eye of a certain Dame from the UK, Dame Dither to be correct, who scanters about in Santa Rosa, having reached her natty nineties, and cavorts thither and hither like a capricious 10-year-old school girl. She called me up to ask if there is such a word as "frivol." There is now, I answered, from "frivolous," I made it up. Which means she poked her nosy Parker nose into my blog, and now, by poking around myself, I could tell how far she actually read. So ... where did I use that word? Perhaps in my review of Big Apple Circus. So, pardon me, while I look a little frivolously about: (just back): Heck, I can't find it, and I'm too lazy on this Sat. morning to try. The frivol is on you ...

Rising over San Diego, somewhere soon, will be another American circus school, to be founded if not grounded, I think, by one of the new upscale director artists -- drats, I frivolously deleted a story about this latest big top teachery (yes, another word I just invented) couriered my way by Don Covington, who lives in the area and, who knows, if he is lucky may land a tony post advising the staff and/or student body. Amazing how many so-called circus schools I bump into whilst scrolling the cyber lanes out there ... Sometimes a lazy cruise can get you into lush findings ... Other S.Diego big top training centers: Fern Street Circus; The Sophia Isadora Academy of Circus Arts -- a Fern spin off; and perhaps even others. And why do I give such passing attention to? I almost never see any acts at the shows I go to from these matriculating yawns. Ouch! Yes, I know to some that hurt. To be fair to myself, I've given some wordage to our own Circus Bella, INCLUDING in my book Inside the Changing Circus (oh, totally unplanned shameless plug) ... shall we race apace?

Cirque du Sleaze: This I found on my own, and can you blame me? Seems that down in San Diego (the next circus city?), a pair of Border Patrol agents got into a mutual grope-down while watching a performance of Totem (previously reviewed on this blog). Witnesses reported watching, although they did not grade the performance with a star rating, "inappropriate touching", featuring the head of Kallie Helwig, 24, perched in the lap of his partner, Gerald Torello Jr., 35. Helwig was arrested on suspicion of battery against a female audience member. Should we blame it on the underachieving Totem, a show that may leave more than a few listlessly unengaged? Or perhaps they were auditioning for Cirque's Vegas porn unit ... Helwig & Torello, sounds like maybe a clown act with legs ... Easier now to sympathize with people who complain about those nefarious airport pat downs. If I were to go through again, I'd like to be able at least to select whom I wish to be touched by. For an extra charge? ...

A little circus, a little burlesque: And all of it under a real tent over Times Square. Called Empire!, show offers what sounds a delicious mix, including Chinese acrobats, Polka Dot Woman, Rubbish Bag Lady, and Carrot Man, all vetted, I trust, by Mayor Mike, who these days has turned himself into a one-man nanny state. Now all you old timers, don't despair. Yes, they've got real circus too! They've got dozens of hula hoops in motion! And I'm already bored ... Here's a big elephant who tested TB positive and has been barred from Maine. This yarn does not deserve much space, since in the first line of the story, I read that the pachyderm is traveling with an outfit whose name brings to mind everything that is wrong with the American sawdust scene: Piccadilly Circus. Anyone out there heard of that one? How dare its disreputable owner, whose name I dare not dignify, disgrace such a cherished English word! My brother saw the show early this year, and was so put off by it (very unlike him), he rang me up and proclaimed, "I just saw an awful circus!" Coming from Dick, that sounds like minus four stars ...

A little Byrd chirping, please! I'm going out on a higher note of eternal optimism, noting how wonderful a new look has Carson & Barnes Circus tycooness Barbara Byrd given to her website, and what a good interview she seems to be. She's out there pitching sawdust and spangles, talking up a life she obviously sees herself never living without. "Circus is in my blood," she told the Columbus, Nebraska Telegram. To another source, chirped she, "This is a business you have to love to do." Gosh, if she swings her rings this way again, I might feel too guilty not taking a thousand buses to check out the show. Maybe by then, Helwig & Torello will be doing their thing down there in the ring, ho ho! ... And that's a "frivol wrap." Are you still there, Dame Dither?

2 comments:

Ryan Easley said...

The elephant did not test positive for tuberculosis. Repeating unsubstantiated rumors with nothing other than press quips from extremists as evidence does nothing but continue to destroy this industry you profess to love and classify yourself as a gossip-mongerer, uninterested not in the true story but rather to glorify your petty criticism of all those not meeting your unrealistic vision of the real world.

Showbiz David said...

Ryan,

A gossip monger, me? I obtained the information from an article published in the Bangor Daily News (on line version), passed along to me by, I assume, another gossip Monger (??? - he never struck me as one ... ), Don Covington: In part, the report reads, and I am here quoting it:

"State Veterinarian Don Hoenig, who oversees elephant importations into Maine, said Topsy the elephant was in Massachusetts last week when the state received an application for her and another elephant, Annette, to come to Maine with the circus. But routine testing on the elephants, who are handled by Franklin Murray, revealed the presence of tuberculosis antibodies in Topsy, which prompted Hoenig to bar its entrance."