Sunday Speculator, Europe to Feld: ICE, not SAWDUST ... Now, Would John Ringling North II's Designer Dung Do?

Will Ringling-Barnum ever conquer the old world? This latest attempt to capture European patronage by offering them one ring in a building does not appear to be paying off. Already, earlier slated visits to England, Germany, France and Belgium, in venues usually played by the Disney ice shows, have been axed, per sketchy reports. In fact, everything about Kenneth Feld’s foray abroad is rather sketchy, but I twitter on, Tweet! Tweet! Circulating rumors, some posted on this very midway, allude to “lousy” advance sales in Spain. Seems the Europeans are asking aloud, why would I want to see a one ring show with only two American performers? Hmmm, well, ah, either, Over Here, we lack American performers —- or our producers aren’t hiring them other than to push canvas and pitch coloring books ... Don Stacey, are you ready to bash once more what I am about to reference? Here goes: John Ringling North (the original) took a crack at Europe in 1963-1964, lasting a full four months and then calling the whole thing off in a fit of Northian haste, either fearing the loss of more money or unentranced by less than stellar reviews (they and the biz were both respectable, to put a full tweet on the matter). JRN did not exactly flop out, not anywhere near. At least he gave old Europe new America (as in three rings). Mr. Feld is not giving Europe America, nor is he giving it to them in a tent. And so they aren't giving back ... Oh, let's leave Over Here ...

And what is there back here? We have designer dung to sample, over here at the in-the-mud Keller Miller Circus festivals, according to a big story in the St. Louis Post- Dispatch. What a hoot. Tweeting for fun, John Ringling North II, I am thinking with a smile verging on a Felix Adler guffaw, has a dry wry sense of humor. The most laid-back of the Ringlings. This cool senior dude will be advancing into his senior year as a circus owner, and he’s now hosting production meetings, spreading out next season’s opus, and I’m waiting for details, sorta kinda promised by the royal version of North’s Concello — James Royal I. Stay tuned and all atwitter for future tweets on the matter.

Heck, I was supposed to be addressing those elephant emissions. Okay, “In some towns visited by the roadside circus [boy is that mud-on] people wait in line for the elephant dung,” reports the Post-Dispatch (or would that be the Dung Dispatch?) ... Fights are said to break out over first grabs for coveted Jumbo fertilizer. I am almost laughing ... “like the time three men scrapped over the last of the pachyderm poo,” according to the story. Saith North the Sequel (there he is strutting his lip with a side show manager in the 1950s), “You don’t put it on fresh. You need to compost it. Let it rot down. Then it really is super” No wonder North's tenter revels in making love to muddy lots. Now I wonder if our circuses will break out into poop battles, each boasting “the most magical manure on earth!” “Fresh off the back lot!” “Sacred White Elephant emissions!” “Dixie Dung!” “Pennsylvania Poo!” Stay with me on this, please, we are close to a Krisnamurti insight, courtesy of the Dung Dispatch writer: “Most people want elephant dung for their garden. It is held in high, almost mythical regard as fertilizer. And the circus gives it away for free.”

I’d better get a poop on before I tweet out ...

End Ring Twitters: Barbara Bird, chirping eternally, to Good Morning America; “You have to love this job or you can’t do it. It’s definitely in my bones, my blood, and in my whole being." And in your dung, too, Lady Byrd? "I was born on the road and I’ll probably die on the road. We want to stay in the business. We want to keep alive the circus in America." And I say, YOU deserve a song and the cream of the you-know-what for that lovely sentiment ... A film Children of All Ages, lensing in easterly places, and I wish I could see it, for it includes interviews with, among "many others," La Norma, La Claire, Woodcock and Herriott (seen in the photo above) ... But back to the smell of circus, if you’ll pardon my poop. I Just told my friend Boyi about the Kelly-Miller giveaways and he recalled happy encounters with our subject in his enchanted Chinese boyhood. During New Year’s back home, Boyi and friends put firecrackers into OX poop, ran back and watched the stuff explode into the air. Oh, the joys of life on the farm. “Only happens in the village” he insists, because outlawed in bigger Middle Kingdom cities. Mr. North, are you looking for a fresh new act angle? How about a most spectacular finale combing ancient traditions with earthy necessities. I was just served a thin stalk of celery wrapped in turkey. Now I'm ready for the rest ...

Tweet tweet! Oh, and I have so much more. Meet me here in a few furious days, all atwittered up in your finest mud ...